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Dating As A Millennial


Dating period is already a process, but dating as a millennial, that's a whole different ball game. Every time I gather with my friends the topic of discussion always seems to land on dating. Dating is boring, dating is fun, dating is too much, dating is hard work, but I guess we all have our own opinions. As a millennial I think a lot of us are searching for that love we saw displayed on the 90's sitcoms or even what we saw in our homes. Boy have times changed.

You don't see a lot of Dwayne and Whitley, Martin and Gina or Cliff and Clair relationships anymore. You just don't. Some people yearn for that type of affection and others don't. These days people are too focused on the Gucci and Keyshia type relationship calling them goals as well as other celebrity couples, but the question is when are you going to become your own goal.

Since when is holding your nigga down after he's disrespected you time and time again a goal? No relationship is perfect, but nobody should be expected to stay with anyone when they have been disrespected multiple times. And no one deserves praises for sticking with anybody through thick and thin. Somethings you can overcome and other things just make you look dumb, but that's the society we live in.

It's okay to have role models in life and want to mimic what you see, but I guarantee you if majority of the people on this earth got to speak to their role model they would tell them to be better than them.

Is dating as a millennial difficult? Some responses...

"Yup. Dating is different with millennials or perhaps I was just born in the wrong generation. There's no initiative and no real sense of courtship of what dating actually is. The end goal doesn't seem to be marriage anymore. It's just too much honestly." - Crystal

"I feel like dating is impossible because the desires of a relationship have changed. Even on the getting to know someone level it's not about getting to know them, but more so about the feeling of being wanted. The components have changed and relationships aren't how they used to be. It used to be about love and growing old, but now it's all about social media and meeting the criteria of others and when we all need to look for what we personally want and not what society says." - Ne'shia

"I don't think dating is impossible. I feel as though you have to be patient and find someone who is on the same level mentally that you're on. If you're not on the same page there is no point of even pursuing them at this moment. If an individual is not ready you can't force them , but if they are ready things will happen naturally. You can meet someone, have casual conversation, start speaking more frequently and naturally they will become a part of your life and next thing you know BOOM." - Juvie

"I don't think dating is impossible because all dating is, is getting to know someone on a more intricate, in depth and passionate level. As time goes on feelings get more intertwined and I think it's hard to hold those same feelings as it's peak, which is typically the honeymoon stage. This makes certain flaws and dislikes come to surface and begins the knit picking, which can either be a building stage or a break it stage within a relationship. Dating as a millennial? The public is more judgmental, people date with ulterior motives and titles and often one is more on board then the other. Millennials shack up, play house, split bills, do chores, buy this, have kids and by that point why get married? You get all the benefits without legal paperwork." - Nigel

My personal opinion on dating is I definitely think in today's society dating is more difficult. It's all about the type of relationship you want to have. A lot of people are okay with just being together with absolutely no goals attached except to start a family. Some people want to spend their younger years, like their twenties exploring, dating and having fun. I'm one of those people, but I'm not going to knock my blessing out of my face if I feel like that right guy comes around because of me wanting to experience my "selfish years."

Even now we have apps that have made it easier to find someone to date, such as tinder, plenty of fish and bumble. For some reason they don't work either because apparently people are using them as hookup apps. Not to knock anybody who does such because we're all entitled, but it's discouraging when you're looking for something real and people aren't even having to work hard for intimacy because some are handing it out like it's candy on Halloween.

Music also plays a factor and is more of an influence when it comes to dating. When songs are encouraging you to smash chick after chick and toss that one then people are going to oblige because it's "cool." What rapper really lives that life though? Future, Gucci, Wayne, Drake, Kanye, Meek Mill, Jay Z, Nas and T.I. have all been in serious relationships if not married. Yes, they may still rap about it, but it's not their reality.

Some people these days will literally not "settle" because they still want to be out here hoeing male and female. Then ten years from now look back like "damn, I should've snatched him or her when I had the chance." Then others want to be in a relationship just to say they're in one and dog their significant other the whole time. What's the point?

Social media I swear is the devil when it comes to relationships. Yes it's your responsibility to respect your significant other and not cheat, but when you have people out there male and female who don't care how long you have been with whomever and just over step their boundaries until some give into temptation it makes it harder.

If people could just focus on what they want and not what society says then I feel as though more relationships might happen and we'll hear more success stories. Nobody wants to put in the work and genuinely express their emotions these days. It's all about what others perceive as being "cool" when you should be able to be you, do you and not care how others view you.

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