Let's Talk Sex & Double Standards

So many people today play into the double standards of life. We all remember the scene from Love and Basketball when Monica was told to “calm down and act like a lady.” Yes, that was a double standard to tell a girl she’s acting too much like a guy. Girls can do anything men can do.

Women always seem to get the short end of the stick though. Men can go out, meet a girl and take her back to the room with no hesitation. Suddenly, he’s “the man” and apparently, he now has “the juice.” What if a girl wants to do the same? She’s now known as a “hoe,” a “bird” and whatever other derogatory term you can think of.

When it comes to love we, all saw the “Tara-Amina” situation play out. How Peter Guns had them sitting at home singing a rendition of “The Boy is Mine,” which made them both look dumb. How many men do you know who will voluntarily put themselves in a love triangle? The guy would have dumped the girl and chucked up the deuces, but the woman is expected to sit there and wait on a guy to figure out what it is he really wants. Of course, the man expects the woman to wait, but what’s worse is some women will wait. The women will sit around and wait for the man to get his act together, wait on him to stop cheating and wait on him to stop putting every woman before her. Some women allow it though, so really who’s to blame? The moral of the story is no man is going to wait on a woman to stop messing with other men. He would just detach himself from the situation.

Double standards are wrong and no woman should fall victim to them. We completely understand that guys want to have fun and be young, wild and free. But when does the growing up happen? When you’ve run out of women, grown tired of having pointless sex or is it when you’ve come back to reality? No worries she’ll be right there waiting.

Think of all the double standards life has dealt us thus far. They all seem to favor the guy, except one. Sex! Quick question for my female readers:

Would you date a guy who has had a sexual encounter with a guy, be it recent or in the past?

Majority answered the question with a quick and simple no, but why? Women expect men to date them and overlook their skeletons in the closet or overlook their sexual desires. We get it girl on girl action is attractive to most men, but men on men apparently, not so much. As I’ve talked to women about this they’ve all said that if a guy has had sexual contact with a guy he’s gay. Not bi-sexual, but gay. On the other side a woman is simply having fun. Women want to feel like their man is masculine and apparently being intimate with another man makes you less of that. This could mean a kiss or a sexual exchange. Why can’t a guy explore his sexuality without putting a label on it? Women that participate in the same behavior don’t get shaded. It’s going to take a woman secure within herself to date this type of man because now that the cat is out of the bag a girl is going to feel as if now she has to watch out for guys as well. This is not right nor is it fair, but it’s life.

Surely men will argue this up and down because it does not go in their favor, but just like that girl who wants to explore her sexuality is not a “hoe” you’re not any less of a man. Double standards are never fair or fun, but they’re here and oddly enough they’re not going anywhere, so stop living by them and judge not the misunderstood.

Photo: Via Google and Giphy

Originally blogged on CampusLately.com

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